Dominant Submissive Relationship

There are many layers to a dominant and submissive relationships and there are many different kinds of relationships.  A lot of people think that being a submissive means being humiliated and physically harmed.  Where there are some submissive’s that enjoy this or maybe even enjoy it on occasion, the majority of sub missives are not like that at all. Some dominants want a submissive that has to be broken that they have to beat into submission. There are also submissive people who don’t want to be full time they only want to experience that every once in awhile.  For me this is not what I want.  A number of you that talk to me know that I want a submissive to want to be under my control. I get annoyed with having to break someone. I do not mind giving instructions or even discipline when required. I do not want to have to force someone under my control though. I have dismissed both in person playmates and phone sex playmates when they want me to mentally, physically and emotionally break them down. I am not sadistic by nature I can be wicked at times but I do not enjoy hurting people I care for. If I do not care for someone then the gloves are off and  I do not feel regret nor remorse. I have a high degree of respect for my submissive I want to take them to a new level of desire and submission.  If someone claims to be my submissive then I demand that they work hard to learn everything about me. I want them to learn to serve me without my micro managing their every move.  I get a number of guys that tell me ‘I am submissive I will do anything to be your real live in slave’ and I ask what would you do for me. The reply is always ‘what would you ask of me’. That is not a submissive that is being passive aggressive. A real submissive which I have had the joy of having in my life goes of out of their way to find things to make their dominant happy.  I should never have to ask what you are going to do for me. It should be something you show in every action towards me. Someone that I consider my submissive will always go above and beyond to make my life easier and happier.

Have you ever been in a full time dominant submissive relationship? If so tell me about it in the comments below.

Chastity

Chastity is something that I talk about on niteflirt a lot. While most people would think of chastity in the form of a virgin girl with a belt on to protect her virginity this is rarely the case in the modern world. Most of the discussions I have are involving male chastity which is hugely popular. I am a fan of male chastity and if you look into my toy collection you will see a number of these fun devices. The reason I like it and a large number of men like it is because of the role reversal. This is very much about power exchange and having a man being submissive to a woman. The amount of chastity devices available is growing each year they generally come in hard plastic, silicone, and metal. I personally own hard plastic and metal. The metal ones look really scary but most men prefer them over the hard plastic ones. The plastic male chastity devices tend to pinch in ways that are just not fun. A well formed and well fitting metal device is comfortable to wear for extended times from what I have been told.  For a lot of men seeing a chain hanging from a woman’s neck or ankle is a turn on.  It reminds them that they are hers and she will only let them have satisfaction when she desires it. This can be a really good thing for a number of relationships if the woman is attentive.  Teasing a man can spike his interest in the relationship he is in. If a woman puts a little bit of effort into it she can easily wrap him around her finger and he will beg to be let out of that cage. The fun thing about chastity is that you keep someone on the edge for an extended amount of time. They want to be there because they are getting attention, but not getting off. The vast majority of men want a woman that is sweetly in control. They want a woman that makes them feel like they have to work to get her but that she desires them more than anything else. Men want to be desired but not necessarily given everything without working for it. Most women make the mistake of not showing a man she wants him badly. She behaves in a way that conveys indifference and that is never good for any relationship. What about you have you ever thought of chastity and if so in what ways? Tell me in the comments below.

Gerontophilia

The fetish of gerontophilia is one we see in comedies a lot but not one that is discussed in a lot of ways. Gerontophilia is a fetish of being sexually drawn to someone that is significantly older than one’s self. This is not someone trying to move themselves up the financial ladder. This is a sexual fetish of how someone’s skin feels, skin looks, graying hair, and other things normally thought to be of elderly years. This fetish is seen in women and men there is not a scientifically significant difference between the sexes. The people who are into gerontophilia are generally happy to be with someone older. They may have issues with those around them because of the major difference in age. This is fetish is not directly correlated with incestuous fetishes. While a person is attracted to someone older is not because they have a “mommy” or a “daddy” issue.  There has not been a lot of studies of this fetish. Those that have been done have generally focused on younger man attracted to much older woman.  This fetish is not viewed as a sexual malfunction or an issue to be addressed by a psychiatrist.  Generally it is viewed as both parties are consenting adults and there is no need to view it in any other way.  When researching this I noticed that most of the things that come up in a search are of comedy utilization of gerontophilia. That is one of the terrible things about modern comedy in that a number of fetishes are treated in a way to make those that see anything about them as just something made up for entertainment. Something else that I noticed is that this fetish appears to either be more mainstream or more prevalent in Japan.  I have not met someone that admitted to me they felt a strong sexual attraction towards those that are significantly older. I did know two girls in high school that met and married men in their 40’s while these girls were still in their late teens. Now whether this was a fetish of age, a replacement of a father figure or just two girls who desired to not have to worry about financial stability I am not sure.  Is this a fetish that you find yourself drawn to? Have you ever known someone that was into only people that were older? If this is of your interest please share your thoughts on the subject in the comments below.

Preston Tucker

I am huge fan of Mr. Tucker and his cars. I got a chance to go to the Speedway Museum up on Lincoln, Nebraska because we had to pick up some parts. I found out about the museum the night before we were to leave so I did not know anything about it. I like going to museums and other historical places irregardless of what they have in them just because I always learn something new. I had no idea they actually had a Tucker. The tour is about two hours long and ours had ran over in length. The very last room we go into has a Tucker in it. There was only 51 of them made and they had to crash one of them for their safety certification. I was beyond thrilled. I never thought I would actually get to see one in person. This one was a pretty blue too which was a color that Mr. Tucker fought hard to get because it was special to him and his wife. It is a great story but also a very sad one he wanted a car that was super safe and none of the big names at the time wanted to admit their cars were not as safe as they could be. In the end they killed the car line by running him out of money. The cars are gorgeous and works of art. The man was a genius in a number of ways however in the real world being super smart does not guarantee anyone success. 20150320_154724

 

For those that are not aware these cars were rear engine that is not seen too often in car design. The Volkswagen Beetle is the one most people are familiar with.

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After leaving I did a little cell phone research because I was still all excited about actually getting to see one up close. This particular car was used in the movie Tucker The Man and His Dream one of only 2 used in the film. If you have not seen the movie check it out it is one of the few times that Hollywood stayed true to the real story well for the most part. A lot of the things on the Tucker became standard on later vehicles such as seat belts, safety glass, and move able headlights.

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Chilly Hicks New Tattoo

Chilly has been wanting a new back piece for all long time since like 2008 ish. She  did not want a traditional “tramp stamp” but something unique to her.  For those that do not know Chilly is a nickname she has had for a long time. She likes it spelled with a “y” instead of an “i” so that is how it is spelled. She wanted something with lots of color and unlike anything she had seen. After about a year of planning, talking, looking and working out issues there was a plan formed.

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If you follow us on twitter you know that she was suppose to get her tattoo before I got mine. The first shop she went to wanted to completely change her design. They did not want to lay it out in the way she wanted. They took a design that was layered and wanted to do it all meshed up together. She decided not to go with them. I am glad she waited too because we found a much more competent tattoo artist. I would not call the other guys artists at all!

He spent over an hour just drawing it out and getting all the pieces to line up correctly. Then he started on the outline.

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Lots and lots of outline. He put a lot of details into the piece by free hand!

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The first side after it was done only about two more hours of work before he had it completed.

10603353_1649337658539949_1138420412926028555_n (1)The finished piece which is just stunning. I am told that butterflies are some of the hardest to do yet he did a wonderful job. The bees even look fuzzy anyone who knows honey bees knows they are fuzzy not hard like a wasp.  She wanted stars but she wanted the to add a pop of color throughout the tattoo.  He even did the pepper flowers in different stages of growth instead of them all open at once. All the leaves have shading, veins and depth to them. Needless to say she is beyond happy that she decided to wait for a much better artist. There is a big difference between a tattoo person and a tattoo artist.

 

Diane Callaway’s New Tattoo

I have been wanting to have my chest piece covered up for a long time. Generally I am like well this needs done or that needs done. After the wreck in February we were all like we are just going to start doing what we want to do. I have a very artistic husband who completely understands what I like and what motivates me. He sat down and started looking around and drawing up an idea to have it inked on. We started looking for a new tattoo artist mine had moved away years ago and I don’t do cooking cutter tattoos. I like someone with a lot of talent who can take a general idea turning it into a work of art. I want something that is mine that you will not see on someone else unless they copy it of course. I also want a tattoo with a lot of meaning for me! After weeks of looking we finally found an artist that could draw (yeah that is a bid deal). He also seemed competent to take paper ideas and turn them into skin which can be difficult. It took him less than an hour to draw up the general sketch. That is pretty darn fast. 10407378_1645583728915342_8136054425943120926_n (1)

 

The rose is covering up my old tattoo and it is perfect size. My great grandmother raised roses for years so they are significant to me in a different ways. I tend to kill plants which makes me super sad. I have a great admiration for birds of prey and I am part Cherokee (not the princess kind the dirt poor kind LOL). 10411819_1645583828915332_6662069338697937921_n (1)

 

I adore this dream catcher I think he did an awesome job on making it look delicate. I am also plagued by horrible paralysis dreams it is something that I have dealt with for years.

1610893_1645583768915338_1795860552995789814_n (2)Those who do not know me probably would misunderstand the black widow. I adore spiders to me they are symbol of feminine power. They care for their young are the perfect predator and are beautiful. Yes, there is that small eating the male mate part but not everything can be perfect. The web coming down was my husband’s idea and I really like that one little part you rarely see it. I have a black diamond necklace that I got for Christmas a few years ago with a black widow on it. It is one of my favorite pieces of jewelry.

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The finished product of course it is changing and will continue to change as it heals but I absolutely adore it. Do you have tattoos what is your favorite piece and why? Tell me in the comments below.

 

Paradox of Power Exchange Between Dominate And Submissive

I have been studying domination and submission for over thirty years now and the misunderstanding of the relationship between the two is astonding to me. I have only been doing phone sex, camming and amatuer movies for seven years. There is a huge adulteration of the relationship in the industry. I have been kicked out of Mistress sites because I did not follow their rules of what a Mistress should be. I am in and have always been in a loving dominate relationship that is what I crave whether it be male or female in nature. I do not live my life through a heavy hand but when I set the rules I demand that they be followed. I enjoy laughing and having a good time with the people I am with. I do not have to be in complete control all the time in fact there are a lot of times I do not honestly care.  One of the major differences between my philosophy of dominate and submissive and the online version is that I am a lifestyler. I have a life that is far more encompassing than just bedroom play. I want my submissives to have happy lives and while I will push their limits I do not go beyond those limits I respect them. While a short term fantasy is a  wonderful thing it should never be confused with real life. I often get men that call me saying they want to be a full time live in slave. I have no issue with that there are many people that live that way. But these men have zero understanding of the realities of that life they want a woman to take away everything their family, their friends, their money, their hole self worth. This might make for a great weekend fantasy or for a novel, however, it will not work in the real world. For those that live the life style understand that at the end of the day it is the submissive that is in control of the relationship. It is their level of desire to submit (not be controlled) which creates the wonderful dynamic of this form of relationship. While there is some fun in forced submission play people can not live a day to day life like that it becomes physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. A submissive has to want to serve and must go out of their way to serve for them to be dominated long term.

Tell me your thoughts on the paradox of power exchange in the comments below.

Ass Worship The Seduction Of Smothering

I have always had a big round booty as long as I can remember. The really funny thing is when I was young and being a Southern girl I was told that having a big bottom was a bad thing. When I became an adult I quickly figured out that men like round bottoms. I am not talking about having a turn sideways to get through a door thing more just round and voluptuous. I have been playing in the bdsm/cuckold world since I was 17. I didn’t start doing phone sex or camming until I was in my mid 30’s so everything I have learned of men, women and their liking of round bottoms has come from real world experience. First off women’s magazines lie there is nothing wrong with having a body that looks like a woman should look.

Through the years I have come to realize that I greatly enjoy ass worship. I like to have a man slowly kiss all over my bottom. I greatly enjoy having my ass licked and teased I find this even more enjoyable if I am sitting on a man’s face while he licking all over. The act of smothering someone with my ass is a fairly new for me. I didn’t really start playing with that until I was in my late 30’s. The older I become the more I find myself gravitating towards the dominate side of sexuality. I like the power play between myself and a submissive. I like to feel someone completely under my power because that is the exact place they desire to be. There is just something far more superior about sitting on someone’s face and controlling their breathing by using my round luscious bottom.

The games that can be played with ass worship are far more demanding than those that can be played with foot worship. The feel of those feet all over someone’s face is fun. However, when I sit down on a face like it is my personal throne and proceed to grind all over that is an almost wicked feeling. I like that I can play with a man’s testicles or a woman’s pussy while controlling everything they can and can not do. I enjoy telling someone to lick my ass more or telling them to stick their finger back in my ass hole because I never gave them permission to take it out.

Are you an ass man? Do you like a woman to control you by using her bottom? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments.

Sexual Appeal Of Women’s Hips

When looking back through history we see a lot of use of women’s hips.  Some of the earliest forms of art we have depict a woman’s hips and breasts.  These parts of a woman were seen as attractive. 

Even as we look past the prehistoric and into Greek/Roman times women were seen as lovely creatures with beautiful curves. Throughout all regions and all dates we see the same want of a woman to have large breasts and large hips. 

Only in modern times do we see the drive through art and media for women to have straight lines. If you follow the news at all you see the fight going on for BBW models. These women are not bbw they look like the female goddess of ancient times. They are not obese or over weight. They have hips and breasts and a waist in between.  That is how a woman should look. She should be set apart from a man. Women should be soft that does not mean she should not be fit there is nothing wrong with being in shape. Women should look different then men though. My opinion is based on all the years I have been doing phone sex and web camming. Men in generally like the sexual attributes of women and large hips are one of the things they crave. An hour glass figure is something fun to run your hands down and then to be able to reach back grabbing a handful of soft round bottom. That is just sexy at least to a bi girl like myself. I want to be with a woman because she is a woman. Yes there are some men that are attracted the biggest hips you can imagine; I doubt that applies to the vast majority of men though. Most just desire a curvy body that is a little soft to lay on. Hips that are large enough to through a leg over and relax into. What about you what do you think is sexy in a woman? Are you into a woman that is small chested and very skinny? If so what is attractive to you about that physique? Do you like a woman that is curvy with larger breasts, larger hips and a inset waist line? I would really enjoy hearing your thought on this in the comments below.

ASMR Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response

This one took some research to really start to understand and even know I am not claiming a full grasp on the subject. ASMR or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response is the use of sound generally human voice to create a pleasurable sensation. Think of it like goose bumps or butterflies on the skin. For fetish people this seems to be a soft female voice spoken at a very low level. Think of it as a very sweet voice whispering to you. What is actually being said seems to have little to do with the reaction. So the words do not convey the feelings that are experienced. The tone, volume, and cadence seems to be the important parts of the process. I have listened to a number of recordings during the course of studying this fetish. Those recordings have a lot of similar portions to them. The girls tend to be higher pitched in voice, they seem to be naturally soft spoken so they are not trying too hard to get to that level of voice and they seem to speak in close to the same natural rhythm. There is a lot of controversy on the actual affects of ASMR with those claiming to experience the sensations defending them and those that say there is no scientific evidence of physical manifestation. We have all at some time experienced someone’s voice that has calmed us or even un-nerved us. I have had someone speak to me and the hair on the back of my neck rise up or get chills. This just seems to be an extension of those types of reactions. I am sure as with most things every person is a little different in what they actually react too. From the reading I have done on ASMR I personally would put it under a hypnosis type of fetish.  While it seems popular if you go off of youtube videos. I do not find a lot of it in actual adult fetish products. This one does intrigue me probably because it does not seem as popular as a lot of the fetishes that I look into.

If you are into ASMR I would greatly enjoy hearing what it is that attracts you to it personally. The reaction that you get from it in a physical, mental and emotional sense. What makes a good ASMR video and or recording for you? Tell me all about it in  the comments below.