Category Archives: Articles

Is Porn Addictive

I thought we would hit a hard subject with shared articles. I know usually I do funny light articles but I think this is important. I have long stated that people are not addicted to porn. They may become addicted to the hormonal drop that comes from an intense orgasm. They may only be able to have that orgasm through the use of pornography. This can happen for a lot of reason. They may have no current partner and porn is absolutely safer then a paid sexual partner and a one night stand. They have a partner that is not available physically and or emotionally. I have spoken to men who have a spouse that is ill and just can not have sexual relations with them. I have also spoken to a large number of men who have a spouse that refuse to have sexual relations very often or at all. Just because one spouse no longer has a desire for that type of physical contact it does not mean the other spouse loses that drive. A large number of men also have fetishes they are not comfortable with sharing with their significant other.  It does not matter the reason why men and sometimes women use pornography each one is personal and different from the other.  Science has finally came out and stated that I am correct in what I suspected all along. There is no physiological addiction to pornography. In this case it is all in your head or maybe in your hand. Take a look at the full article here is a quote from it and get a little brainy.

” In research invited for submission to the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience of Psychology, authors Steele, Staley, Fong and Prause(link is external) used EEG testing to examine the effects of visual erotica, on the brains of people who felt they had problems controlling their porn use. 52 sex addicts, including men and women, had their brain’s electrical activity examined while they looked at erotic imagery. Sex addiction theory predicts that these individuals would show brain patterns consistent with that of cocaine addicts, who demonstrate specific electrical changes in the brain’s activity, in response to drug-related cues. Sex addiction proponents, from Rob Weiss(link is external) to Carnes (link is external)have long argued that sex and porn are “like cocaine” in the brain.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201307/your-brain-porn-its-not-addictive

Cuckolding

This is not a technical article about cuckolding I am sure we will go over lots of aspects of it in due time. This is about my personal experience with it. My husband and I have always had girls in our relationship pretty much from the very beginning. We started dating at the end of January and by June of that first year we had the first of a long list of girls.  When we got to our mid 20’s we started fantasizing about other men. We did that for awhile till we decided to give it a try. While there have been far more women in our lives than men it has been a ton of fun. Like most things sexually we progressed to at different levels over the course of time. Cuckolding for us is like the vast majority of things we do. It is a spice it is a thing to add to our fantasy time. If you watch our movies then you know that we really enjoy what we do. It is not just for entertainment. For us having the ability to enjoy other people openly without lies and deceit is important to our relationship. I think most people in cuckolding relationships feel that way. There are a lot of men out there that enjoy the thought of their significant other with someone else. They are often to scared to express that to their spouse for fear of rejection.  I believe that people should be able to talk about things with each other it doesn’t mean you have to go through with a fantasy and there are ways to make parts of a fantasy happen. People that are afraid of their life partner turning them away in my humble opinion have already been turned away. There is a thrill with being with a person for the first time we all feel that. Often that is all we want from them they are not partner material but the excitement is enjoyable. For couples that practice cuckolding one incident can bring a lot of future fantasy.

Dominant Submissive Relationship

There are many layers to a dominant and submissive relationships and there are many different kinds of relationships.  A lot of people think that being a submissive means being humiliated and physically harmed.  Where there are some submissive’s that enjoy this or maybe even enjoy it on occasion, the majority of sub missives are not like that at all. Some dominants want a submissive that has to be broken that they have to beat into submission. There are also submissive people who don’t want to be full time they only want to experience that every once in awhile.  For me this is not what I want.  A number of you that talk to me know that I want a submissive to want to be under my control. I get annoyed with having to break someone. I do not mind giving instructions or even discipline when required. I do not want to have to force someone under my control though. I have dismissed both in person playmates and phone sex playmates when they want me to mentally, physically and emotionally break them down. I am not sadistic by nature I can be wicked at times but I do not enjoy hurting people I care for. If I do not care for someone then the gloves are off and  I do not feel regret nor remorse. I have a high degree of respect for my submissive I want to take them to a new level of desire and submission.  If someone claims to be my submissive then I demand that they work hard to learn everything about me. I want them to learn to serve me without my micro managing their every move.  I get a number of guys that tell me ‘I am submissive I will do anything to be your real live in slave’ and I ask what would you do for me. The reply is always ‘what would you ask of me’. That is not a submissive that is being passive aggressive. A real submissive which I have had the joy of having in my life goes of out of their way to find things to make their dominant happy.  I should never have to ask what you are going to do for me. It should be something you show in every action towards me. Someone that I consider my submissive will always go above and beyond to make my life easier and happier.

Have you ever been in a full time dominant submissive relationship? If so tell me about it in the comments below.

Preston Tucker

I am huge fan of Mr. Tucker and his cars. I got a chance to go to the Speedway Museum up on Lincoln, Nebraska because we had to pick up some parts. I found out about the museum the night before we were to leave so I did not know anything about it. I like going to museums and other historical places irregardless of what they have in them just because I always learn something new. I had no idea they actually had a Tucker. The tour is about two hours long and ours had ran over in length. The very last room we go into has a Tucker in it. There was only 51 of them made and they had to crash one of them for their safety certification. I was beyond thrilled. I never thought I would actually get to see one in person. This one was a pretty blue too which was a color that Mr. Tucker fought hard to get because it was special to him and his wife. It is a great story but also a very sad one he wanted a car that was super safe and none of the big names at the time wanted to admit their cars were not as safe as they could be. In the end they killed the car line by running him out of money. The cars are gorgeous and works of art. The man was a genius in a number of ways however in the real world being super smart does not guarantee anyone success. 20150320_154724

 

For those that are not aware these cars were rear engine that is not seen too often in car design. The Volkswagen Beetle is the one most people are familiar with.

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After leaving I did a little cell phone research because I was still all excited about actually getting to see one up close. This particular car was used in the movie Tucker The Man and His Dream one of only 2 used in the film. If you have not seen the movie check it out it is one of the few times that Hollywood stayed true to the real story well for the most part. A lot of the things on the Tucker became standard on later vehicles such as seat belts, safety glass, and move able headlights.

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Paradox of Power Exchange Between Dominate And Submissive

I have been studying domination and submission for over thirty years now and the misunderstanding of the relationship between the two is astonding to me. I have only been doing phone sex, camming and amatuer movies for seven years. There is a huge adulteration of the relationship in the industry. I have been kicked out of Mistress sites because I did not follow their rules of what a Mistress should be. I am in and have always been in a loving dominate relationship that is what I crave whether it be male or female in nature. I do not live my life through a heavy hand but when I set the rules I demand that they be followed. I enjoy laughing and having a good time with the people I am with. I do not have to be in complete control all the time in fact there are a lot of times I do not honestly care.  One of the major differences between my philosophy of dominate and submissive and the online version is that I am a lifestyler. I have a life that is far more encompassing than just bedroom play. I want my submissives to have happy lives and while I will push their limits I do not go beyond those limits I respect them. While a short term fantasy is a  wonderful thing it should never be confused with real life. I often get men that call me saying they want to be a full time live in slave. I have no issue with that there are many people that live that way. But these men have zero understanding of the realities of that life they want a woman to take away everything their family, their friends, their money, their hole self worth. This might make for a great weekend fantasy or for a novel, however, it will not work in the real world. For those that live the life style understand that at the end of the day it is the submissive that is in control of the relationship. It is their level of desire to submit (not be controlled) which creates the wonderful dynamic of this form of relationship. While there is some fun in forced submission play people can not live a day to day life like that it becomes physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. A submissive has to want to serve and must go out of their way to serve for them to be dominated long term.

Tell me your thoughts on the paradox of power exchange in the comments below.

Ass Worship The Seduction Of Smothering

I have always had a big round booty as long as I can remember. The really funny thing is when I was young and being a Southern girl I was told that having a big bottom was a bad thing. When I became an adult I quickly figured out that men like round bottoms. I am not talking about having a turn sideways to get through a door thing more just round and voluptuous. I have been playing in the bdsm/cuckold world since I was 17. I didn’t start doing phone sex or camming until I was in my mid 30’s so everything I have learned of men, women and their liking of round bottoms has come from real world experience. First off women’s magazines lie there is nothing wrong with having a body that looks like a woman should look.

Through the years I have come to realize that I greatly enjoy ass worship. I like to have a man slowly kiss all over my bottom. I greatly enjoy having my ass licked and teased I find this even more enjoyable if I am sitting on a man’s face while he licking all over. The act of smothering someone with my ass is a fairly new for me. I didn’t really start playing with that until I was in my late 30’s. The older I become the more I find myself gravitating towards the dominate side of sexuality. I like the power play between myself and a submissive. I like to feel someone completely under my power because that is the exact place they desire to be. There is just something far more superior about sitting on someone’s face and controlling their breathing by using my round luscious bottom.

The games that can be played with ass worship are far more demanding than those that can be played with foot worship. The feel of those feet all over someone’s face is fun. However, when I sit down on a face like it is my personal throne and proceed to grind all over that is an almost wicked feeling. I like that I can play with a man’s testicles or a woman’s pussy while controlling everything they can and can not do. I enjoy telling someone to lick my ass more or telling them to stick their finger back in my ass hole because I never gave them permission to take it out.

Are you an ass man? Do you like a woman to control you by using her bottom? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments.

Sexual Appeal Of Women’s Hips

When looking back through history we see a lot of use of women’s hips.  Some of the earliest forms of art we have depict a woman’s hips and breasts.  These parts of a woman were seen as attractive. 

Even as we look past the prehistoric and into Greek/Roman times women were seen as lovely creatures with beautiful curves. Throughout all regions and all dates we see the same want of a woman to have large breasts and large hips. 

Only in modern times do we see the drive through art and media for women to have straight lines. If you follow the news at all you see the fight going on for BBW models. These women are not bbw they look like the female goddess of ancient times. They are not obese or over weight. They have hips and breasts and a waist in between.  That is how a woman should look. She should be set apart from a man. Women should be soft that does not mean she should not be fit there is nothing wrong with being in shape. Women should look different then men though. My opinion is based on all the years I have been doing phone sex and web camming. Men in generally like the sexual attributes of women and large hips are one of the things they crave. An hour glass figure is something fun to run your hands down and then to be able to reach back grabbing a handful of soft round bottom. That is just sexy at least to a bi girl like myself. I want to be with a woman because she is a woman. Yes there are some men that are attracted the biggest hips you can imagine; I doubt that applies to the vast majority of men though. Most just desire a curvy body that is a little soft to lay on. Hips that are large enough to through a leg over and relax into. What about you what do you think is sexy in a woman? Are you into a woman that is small chested and very skinny? If so what is attractive to you about that physique? Do you like a woman that is curvy with larger breasts, larger hips and a inset waist line? I would really enjoy hearing your thought on this in the comments below.

Morti Safe

I have a caller that really enjoys playing with a morti safe which is how I got introduced to it.  This product really is a lot of fun for both the Mistress and for the Submissive. It is great for long distance play.  How this product works is the submissive has a safe that the key to their chastity device goes into. The Mistress then goes to a web site and sets the timer on the device. This can be hours, days or however she desires. When she does that she gets a very long code that will unlock the device when she desires. The key holder has to have the code if it gets lost well it sucks to be the person in the chastity device. I had a great time playing with this device when I had the opportunity to use it. It was fun having my caller email and beg to get out . The biggest issue with key holders seperated by long distances is how to make sure the key is maintained properly while still having it available for emergency.  While I have used numerous ways of maintaining control of chastity device the Morti Safe was the easiest by far.

Now, here is the bad part according to the morti safe site it appears that they are no longer producing this device. I still want to recommend looking at their website and seeing some of the recommendations they offer. This was not a fancy looking website and was set up very simply. I personally like things that are simple in layout and function. Any more most websites have so many things going on on the page makes them difficult to use.

While I will be continuing to look for creative and fun ways to be a key holder for my chastity guys. For now I will have to go back to numbered keys, freezing the key, putting the key in safety box,  as well as, some of the other ways that my deviant mind things up on the fly. I strongly recommend playing in chastity for extended times if someone is into tease and denial. The fun  part of extended play is how much it starts to consume a man’s day. Chastity also helps a man overcome his desire to sneak around tease his cock without thinking he will get caught. Men we always catch you that is what our job as Mistress is.

If you have creative ideas for key holding from a distance I would greatly enjoy hearing about them. Tell me in comments below!

http://mortisafe.com/ 

Cheating

Let me start off by stating my philosophy of cheating: cheating is lying and lying will always destroy every relationship.

Those of you that know me a little know that I am married and have been for over twenty years. My husband and I have always had some type of poly relationship or cuckolding play time. So yes we do have sexual relationships outside of our marriage. This does not cause issues in our core relationship. So yes it is possible to have multiple relationships and keep those relationships healthy. The issue with cheating is stepping outside of the agreed upon boundaries.  A lot of people cheat because they feel their relationship is boring or their significant person is not responding to their needs. This is not a thing of men cheat more than women. That is not true. I have researched it and just from personal experience women cheat as much if not more then men.

The issue I have with people that cheat is they are lying to everyone around them. Once they start down the lying road it gets really bad really fast. Once everything comes out it is almost impossible to get trust back after a person is justified with not trusting someone. This is not an issue of having another sexual partner. The sex is not the problem it is the lying and all the conniving that must take place for someone to cheat. I really believe that people may not know what they are being deceived about but they do know they are in the middle of a deception.

The flip side of this is the huge rush that people get from “getting away” with something. For habitual cheaters I personally believe that the rush becomes almost a fetish. They are not intentionally trying to harm someone they are just want the rush that comes with it. Like any other situation that causes a rush for people that are susceptible to addictions this can become an addition.

There of course are issues of health I don’t know if cheaters really think about this or even think about the other person they are involved with at all. With my poly lifestyle I take risks being fully aware of those risks and I have a say in what I am willing to do. When it comes a cheating situation the other person does not even know what is going on. So they can get an std without ever knowing they should have been careful. Pregnancy is another real problem with cheating between the sexes.

So, for people that would like the rush of cheating without all the down falls that can come with it. There are games you can play with your significant other to liven things up and stay within the confines of your particular boundaries.  Or give me or Chilly Hicks a call and we can have some fun that stays completely in your own mind.

From’s A Subs Point Of View

The following is an awesome email that I got and wanted to share. My responses are in red so it is easier to follow everything. I think there are a lot of guys out there that feel the same way on a number of different subjects. Keep the wonderful emails coming and if you want to talk about something lets open the dialogue and have a great conversation. 

Came across your amazing blog the other day…Was one of those times you really feel ”at home”, if you know what i mean!! 🙂 Many of the things/fetishes and fantasies you write about, is something i´ve ALWAYS had in my fantasies myself…Would probably be too long to put in a comment, though. 😉

I believe i am as much of a sub and masochist as one can be – in my MIND…! So i wouldn´t even know where to start on this…:) But i´ve always LOVED the thought of sexy women dominating and torturing me in various ways…As long as i can remember…Walking all over my body in stiletto heels, sitting on my face, scratching me with their nails, slapping my face…

To me there is something very sensual about tormenting a man in a way only women can. I have always enjoyed watching a pair of balls underneath my heels and underneath my toes as if those balls were a cigarette butte that I was stomping and grinding out super slow.  My nails are always long and I have been known to leave my mark on occasion. Far more often I enjoy just raking them across a mans chest or his balls and cock. Just hard enough to leave an impression. Slapping is something I do often with my subs from a slap of correction generally from runnings one’s mouth when it should be silent; to ridding a cock and slapping a face just because I want to.  A woman slapping a sub man is forceful and humiliating both things I like to see with a sub. 

Always used to dream of being a carpet in the ladies locker room in my teens, and just lie flat on my back on the floor with my arms stretched out, totally motionless and submissive,  while all KINDS of sexy mature women in thongs and push up bras walked all over my skinny body, so they wouldn´t have to walk on the cold hard tile floor…Using my body to protect their precious feet from potential brusing from the floor…:) Like i wasn´t even there and was just a rug, or the dirt under their feet…

There are a lot of men that enjoy the thought of being trampled on by women’s feet. This does sound appealing to have a guy that me and the girls just use for whatever we desire. You are not even human you are just a thing to be stepped on. 

Or having ladies use me as a human bench in the sauna and just have me lying flat on my back for them all to sit on my body and face whilst talking with each other about their lives, work, other men they found cute, husbands and family…Completely covering me under their butts…Like i didn´t even existed! 🙂

I have done this before and it is so much fun! To have a man or even a woman be my table to hold my glass of wine dont even think of moving. To be my foot stool you better be steady. Or to be my private bench where ever I go. 

I love to be a complete gentleman and treat ladies as princesses…Always value them above myself…Always loved the kind of women that sees themselves as true Princesses and expects me to pamper, spoil and do anything for them, so they won´t have to do a thing themselves and risk breaking a nail…Who would expect to be showered in compliments and presents on a daily basis…And the more bitchy, spoiled, vain and selfish she would be, the more arousing…:) The more she would value only herself, treat me only as her personal slave and see herself as WAY too good for me…Love the thought of a woman who takes me along with her like only an accessory…Someone to use to be as comfortable and carefree as possible! Who would expect me to just follow her and carry her bags while she´s shopping with my money so she won´t risk breaking a nail, open her doors….Lay flat on my back every time she wants to sit down so she could sit on my chest instead to not get herself dirty ”because a Lady never sits on the dirty ground!”

I have been told on numerous occasions that I am like the Evil Queen Regina in Once Upon A Time I demand and expect you to be my complete servant. Your wants and desires mean nothing to me it is all about what I want and how I want it. 

I love every act of chivalry and servitude to women…Just to feel a bit like their servant in any way. Like the norm in the old days. 🙂 Love to open doors for women and stand aside for them to enter before me, just to show she always comes first…:) Offer to carry their bags, or anything else they might need help with…

A man that knows his place in life is a happy man. Women too often do not use their control in anyway that they should. This leaves men confused about where his place is in a woman’s life. A controlled man is a satisfied man. 

I´ve joked with women on some occasions about laying my coat down over it for them to walk on, if they get to a puddle they don´t know how to cross…Love when they laugh about it and say it sound great. 🙂 But always secretly wished i could lay down flat on my back in it myself, so they could casually tiptoe all over me in their sexy high heels to not risk getting their feet dirty and get safely to dry land again! 🙂

A woman’s feet should never touch dirty water, mud, nor be grass stained. A man is there to do whatever is required of him to make sure that never happens. 

I remember wanting to serve women already in my teens…Especially sexy mature women…Every one i´d see, i´d secretly wish i could just serve her and do anything for herl…Offer to carry her bags, fix her car, help her with anything else she might need help with, come over to her house anytime to do handiwork for her, move her lawn, do her laundry, wait on her while she´s relaxing by the pool, be her personal chauffeur…Give her my number for her to call any day and at any hour if she ever needed anything… Especially if she would really use me and call me up in the middle of the night, say it´s an emergency and ask me to come over right away, only to ask me to change a light bulb or kill a spider when i finally get there… A really vain and high maintenance-woman who had me completely wrapped around her little finger and ready to do anything for her, with a truly ”spoild princess” manner! That´s always been my biggest fantasy…:)

There is a reason that a woman who knows what she wants and expresses that gets what she desires. That reason is because she deserves it all. Men were truly put here to make women happy in every way. 

What do you think of that? 🙂

I completely love the forniphilia- post too!! I´ve always dreamt of being all kinds of human furniture for women, too…LOVE that part about having cocks stand at attention for you to hang your purse, coat, etc on when youi get home! 🙂 I´ve dreamt of a lady using me as her personal coat-rack many times, or human clothes-rack, to hang her lingerie on…Having me just stand there completely motionless while hanging her sexy little thongs all over me, on my arms, face, shoulders, on my cock that would be SURE to stand att attention for her….:) And just turning out the light and have me standing there motionless and alone in the dark basement while her clothes are drying…The core of it all is for her to not see and treat me as a human being and only an object, for her to use in any way she sees fit. That to me is incredibly arousing. 🙂 And that part of wanting your slave to control his breathing even so you would not feel the rise and fall of his chest while you sit there…I have to admit a almost draw a gasp of arousal from reading that…You could take me along with you everywhere you go, so you could use me as a bench and sit on my chest instead, anytime you don´t want to get your pants dirty!! 🙂 After all – you know  a Princess like you would never have to dirty herself when she could have male servants like me to sit on…;)

To be objectified means that you are truly subservient to one Goddess and she rules your world. She is the center of your universe so everything that you do for her makes your life even more perfect. 

Keep writing on that amazing blog – i´ll definitely continue to read it!

Wishing you a great day! 🙂

What a wonderful email from a sub’s perspective which is always insightful.