As a dominate woman I have been asked in the past how I could possibly give a guy a blow job because a number of people feel that is a submissive act. I have always thought that blowjobs were actually power play. That is a very sensitive thing to have sliding past very sharp powerful teeth. Having those very sensitive balls under my control while I tease a cock is a very controlling thing. For men blow jobs seem to be a utopia of sensation. It is a very intimate act for both people. Now for a submissive girl she may take the situation from a different aspect she may feel that she is being utterly submissive. That is the wonderful thing about power play is that it can be utilized either way. There are some things I have never really understood and that is gagging. Not sure why a guy would want to feel and hear a girl gag to me that is just a horrid sound. I have always been able to take a cock pretty deep down my throat so it was never a huge issue for me personally. I really enjoy watching a man while I am teasing his cock and balls working him up and then backing it back down over and over until he is just begging for me to let him come. When it comes to blow jobs most people think of a girl on her knees and a man standing over her. I have found that most men do not like this position if they are going to truly enjoy what is happening to them. Most the time laying down or sitting is far more enjoyable than having their knees locked and trying to maintain themselves vertically. Unfortunately a lot of American women are raised to think that cocks are dirty and should not be played with in this manner. It is pushed that only dirty girls suck cock which is really sad because it can cause a man to think that he is not that important to his girl when she refuses to do reasonable sexual things. Even if a girl is not into swallowing at least showing some attention to his cock in a very intimate way will help strengthen their relationship.
There are some people that really enjoy into having all control taken from them. Most of us are into having an orgasm and enjoy the relaxed time after for these other types of people it is the full extent of being put under someone elses wants and desires. I enjoy tying people up and giving them a hard intense orgasm after teasing for a very long time of course. The feel of someone straining against ropes they are unable to get out of is a lot of fun. Men especially do not know what to do when they are completely bound and their cock is tied up. The nice thing about a bound cock is how super hard it gets. That cock turns such a pretty shade of purple and those balls fill up all the way. Then to tie a man down so that the only thing he can do is watch his cock and hope that I allow him to come. It is amazing how quickly a man learns how to beg when the one thing he wants is a hard orgasm. Bound orgasms are not for everyone some find it beyond exciting and for others the frustration is too much and they will not enjoy the moment at all. I would advice starting slow and seeing how much your partner enjoys because you do not have to go completely out on the first play session. You can start with just tying up a guys cock or a girls legs and then with each play session step it up slowly to a point that is pushing their limits and allowing them to enjoy the sensations that are happening to them. If a person is not into being tied up do not do it acting in such a matter can completely ruin a relationship. I am not talking about someone that is just not sure I am talking about someone that has a fear or an extreme dislike of being tied up. There are plenty of other fun sexual things that you can do that does not require tying someone so leave your options open. For those that like to be imbolized there are tons of options available. Pantyhose and rope are some of my favorites. Alot of people enjoy handcuffs and they are easy to use. There is also sex tape which is reusable and fun. You can use plastic wrap (think Dexter). What a fun thing to try out and see how it goes.
I will admit that most of my exposer to this is from the reading of sex novellas. I have had a few people over the years talk about this but not many. Most of the time when it comes to aliens it is a male alien with a human female of course a large phallus is always involved. I have had a couple of men that were into a female alien that forces them to perform sexual favors or to manipulated into doing things for her with little or no say in the act. I have even had a few men that wanted an alien that was both female and male that force them to be violated because that is what the alien wishes to have. This is a pretty normal fetish is most ways though the details may be a little different. In what I have seen of the fetish it is a standard exchange of power with one person either being manipulated or forced into a full surrender of sexual desire. What I do find interesting is most of the time in my personal experience the color of the alien is blue. Now this could be because of such movies as Xmen influencing our culture and sexual desires even I will admit that was a very hot scene in that movie. It could be that green is just not a very sensual color to most people and blue is a lot more appealing. There are a lot of things that could come into play and sometimes people just like what they like with no explanation. In most cases this is a fun fetish that takes place in the mind more than in an actual play out of events. We see this in a lot of modern movies, art, and culture. There are a lot of very sensual aliens in movies very feminine in nature large breasts and substantial hips. We as a society seem to place sexual desires onto a lot of different object so aliens are not different in that. There are a lot of short stories out there dealing with aliens both from the male alien taking over a female subject and a female alien forcing herself onto a male. If you are looking for something fun and different to indulge into then find some of these stories and allow your mind to run wild.
So this past week I put a picture up on twitter which you can see below. For anyone that has known me for awhile then it is well known that testicular cancer and prevention is something that I strongly believe in. There are a number of reasons why I feel that talking about testicular cancer is very important there is so much attention to breast cancer for women and very little attention to this very important cancer. Now I actually did pay attention in biology so I understand that cancer can not be completely prevented it can be controlled and put into remission if caught early. This is something that I will talk about a lot as I feel it is something that should be openly discussed. So take some time and make this a monthly ritual of getting to know your testicles how they feel so that if you do have an issue you will find it early on.
There are a lot of guys that are into being given an assignment to accomplish with having to prove they actually completed what they were told to do. I see this a lot in sissy guys or guys that enjoy cross dressing. They want to be sent out to buy an article of clothing or something girly. I will be the first to admit this can be a whole lot of fun. I have done this with a lot of guys from little things such as a new thing of nail polish to panties and lots of other items as well. For a guy new to dressing up having to buy something at the mall go into the restroom and put it on is a very erotic experience. Most guys would never tell anyone their deepest secret especially someone they have the possibility of meeting again. This allows them to explore a little and have some safety of keeping their secret. Now some guys like the thought of including a stranger into their assingments the real issue with this is not know how a person will react to what is going on. I have done it a few times with a woman when I was around but not something I really want to do on the phone. I have had it go great but I have also had it go really bad and she become completely offended which ruins the whole fantasy for everyone. Most the time I try to avoid that just because it is to volatile.
I am often asked what kind of assignment will be given and it really just varies from person to person. If it is a sissy I generally start out with something small and simple then build from there. I do not do the same thing each time so it can be anything from lipstick, nail polish, panties, girly socks and the list goes on and on. I do not just do assignments for sissy’s I have used them for a number of different fetishes to add a little bit of drama even when I am not around. The reason an assignment works for both the men and myself is because it keeps them thinking about me. It gives them a thrill when the complete what they are told to do and lets them explore their desires in a different manner than just talking about it and masturbating. If you are interested in trying an assignment give me a call and lets talk about what you are into so we can play.
Really interesting article on art from a woman’s vagina
Ass smothering is something I get asked about often. The reason for this is I have a nice round ass that a lot of men would really like to have hovering over their face. For a lot of men a bottom is a wonderful thing to have. What I find funny is that a lot of normal people that I meet talk about how much they would enjoy smothering their significant other or having their partner sit on their face. I have been told by a number of men that the smell of a woman’s ass is intoxicating. What they mean by that is the normal everyday smell of a woman after she has worked all day the hot sweaty musky smell. I think women have forgotten the power of smell and how much men need that as well as crave it. When a woman relearns this she can control a man in a number of sexy seductive ways. For me sitting on a guys face with my ass cheeks spread across and his nose trapped is a huge sense of power. Telling him to sniff a lick and lick my ass and being able to look down and see his cock twitch and grow harder is such a turn on. Sitting down while I tell him to lick it good or I will smother him with those cheeks knowing he can not get enough of me. Like all fetishes this is not something everyone is into that is part of what makes it so much fun.
Some of our most popular movies involve facials. There is just something about guys that makes them really like blowing a big thick load all over a girls face. Now I do not have anything against facials, as long as it does not go up my nose that is my huge no no followed by actually getting it into my eye. I do not quite understand what a guy sees in this that is such a huge turn on though. Part of me thinks it goes back to a domination thing however I know a lot of submissive men that are into this too. So that does not quite explain it. Something you have to realize is that during sex I laugh a lot not in a mean way but just because I think it is fun. Facials fall into the fun dirty naughty thing that make me laugh. I don’t know why but I always laugh about it. Yes it does take a strong confident man to have sex with me. Either that or a guy that really doesn’t mind a woman laughing while he is blowing his load.
If facials are your thing I would really enjoy hearing what it is about them that turns you on so much. Whether is the girl down on her knees looking up at you. All that creamy mess spraying all over her face. The feel of dominance you get while you stand over her or something completely different that I have not thought of. Comment below and lets have some fun with this.
The fantasy of blackmail has come up a few times over the years and while I completely understand the thrill behind it this fantasy is one that very few sites actually allow a girl to do. I will not participate in the fantasy of blackmail for a number of reasons. Let’s go over the fun exciting parts first and then we will get into the reasons why I will not do this fantasy.
Everyone likes an adrenalin rush that is why scary movies and roller coasters are so popular. Blackmail is really just another way of getting that adrenalin rush. The act of giving out all of one’s information to someone you do not know is thrilling. The thought of being caught makes the butterflys start fluttering in one’s stomach. Trying to hide and keep a secret is a turn on to a lot of people. I understand that and get it. However there is a down side to all of this when guys start getting into blackmail they can quickly give out a lot of information now in todays world a little goes a long ways. I used to work in skip tracing I know how having 3 to 4 good pieces of information can give me a persons place of employment, current and past spouses, parents, neighbors, address, all property owned by them, arrest records, and scores of other pieces of the puzzle. Most of this can be obtained in literally minutes.
Most of us girls do this as a job we enjoy it have a great time with it but understand the boundaries. Even if we are lifestylers there are certain rules that apply here that may or may not apply in our personal play time. However, there are always girls out there that cross those lines. Girls that will actually call up wives, employers, and family just to get what they want. I can assure anyone that the fantasy of blackmail is a lot more appealing than the reality of blackmail. Now lets flip the tables here there are also a lot of guys out there that will tell a woman they want to get busted it is the ultimate thing for them the full thrill of it etc. When as they say the ‘metal meets the meat’ and they do get caught I have known girls that have gotten arrested (not saying prosecuted but it is still a nasty expensive hassle) because some guy gets caught and then says well I was blackmailed there was nothing I could do.
I always tell girls do not deduct money from some guys account, do not use team viewer, do not spend money from a card with someone else’s name on it. These are all things that can cause a lot of problems for a girl even if they have permission from the guy.
There are things I do enjoy such as raping a guys wallet, piggy play, financial domination, and other power exchange money games. These are a lot of fun and still give each party a sense of power exchange without the potential of life changing events.
I’ve now written 40 articles for elephant journal.
Every one of my pieces is a window into my life, into the darkness, the lightness—the life I have lived.
I’ve spoken of my disorders, molestation, sex, relationships and divorce. Some may perceive my articles as ‘airing dirty laundry.’ I believe I share my life openly, transparently without shame, in order to help others know they are not alone in their thoughts, feelings or actions. Knowing we are not alone is the catalyst for growth, healing and transformation.
On the eve before my 34th birthday, I’m spending time reflecting on my life and the past year. My goal for the year to come is to continue shedding all the thoughts and conditioned beliefs that continue to hold me back.
I write this piece not only for myself, but for my daughters and all women.
My birthday wish is a wish for all of us; to stop hiding, stop feeling ashamed, and stop being embarrassed for who we are and what we want.
I give us all permission to explore our desires and our fantasies. I give us permission to claim what is our birthright—pleasure.
I do not want my daughters to own an ounce of guilt for expressing their sexuality, no matter how it manifests itself. I hope they freely explore their bodies, own their bodies, live in their bodies, enjoy their bodies and embrace all realms of giving and receiving pleasure.
I don’t want them to suffer like I have. It has taken almost 34 years for me to accept who dwells in me—a lioness who I have tamed and locked away for so long, because she scared me. I felt like a closet slut for years, until I recognized I’m no slut—I am an explosively passionate woman with a wild imagination and voracious desire for happiness and pleasure.
In my 34th year of life, I will release her completely because she deserves to live and breathe in the open, free of judgment—my judgment. She tries to ooze from my mind, my body and my heart every day and I can no longer contain her.
From adolecence to adulthood, I thought it was wrong to love sex as much as I did. I shunned my radiant imaginative desires and resisted pleasure completely. I thought it selfish, almost narcissistic to seek pleasure and attain a blissful state.
I searched in the wrong places—outside myself, in a sexual encounter with someone I didn’t know very well or in validation from people around me. I didn’t think I deserved to feel good. I was afraid of intimacy with myself, of allowing my needs to be acknowledged and fulfilled.
I hid within my sexual experiences instead of participating in. I withheld pleasure from myself, from my life. I felt guilty for masturbating or fulfilling my fantasies.
As I mature, I recognize the most important part of life, the gift of life is our ability to feel pleasure, to know pleasure.
God built me with the character I have, the thoughts, the desires, the body and the spirit I am meant to have in this life. I don’t need to cover up or be anyone else. Instead of trying to change, be something else–something more holy or more pure, I am meant to thrive and function as myself.
I give myself and all of us permission to stop avoiding who we are and give in to what gives us pleasure regardless of what society deems acceptable or unacceptable.
This year has gifted me–I didn’t know making love with myself had the power to usher me into a nest of self acceptance. It has transformed my ability to trust and be intimate with another person, to receive pleasure–which I never had before.
I didn’t know that the simple act of giving myself permission to feel good would change my life.
Here is my gift of permission for you:
1. Tease Yourself, Seduce Yourself—Get Naked Under Your Clothes.
I don’t wear underwear, unless (for sanitary reasons) I wear a short skirt which is a rare occurrence. I have a dresser drawer full of Hanky Pankys in a rainbow of colors that sit unharnessed to my pelvis. Why? Because it’s sexy to not wear them. I love being exposed. I am ready for pleasure at any moment. I enjoy teasing myself, seducing myself all day long.
At night, I wear a sheer slip to bed. The tingling sensation of the fabric on my skin gives me goosebumps. I love the way my nipples break through the veil of cloth. I stand in front of the mirror and I appreciate (not judge) the beauty of my body through the cloud of cotton. I separate from myself, admiring the person who stands before me yearning to be discovered, uncovered and explored.
I sleep naked—a lot. I recommend spending time every day naked. It’s a little uncomfortable at first. We are used to being naked between clothing changes, showering or having sex. What about just being naked? Enjoying the freedom of no restraints.
The first thing my daughters do when they walk in at the end of the day is strip down to nothing. They run around, do somersaults, dance. They are more comfortable naked than dressed.
When we are naked, we can’t hide—being vulnerable is vital to becoming comfortable with ourselves. Only when we are comfortable with ourselves can we be comfortable with another.
2. Act Like An Animal, Once in Awhile.
Animals are naked in every way; they don’t have manners, they don’t have clothes. They eat without utensils. They get dirty. They mate when they need to and want to, no matter who is watching.
Try being an animal once in a while.
Eat with your hands, eat foods that explode with juice allow them to coat your body and don’t rub it away. Get messy.
Allow yourself to go primal. If you have a partner, grab them and devour them as you did your food and if you are alone, devour yourself; in the middle of the living room, with the shades open, let the light in and please yourself.
3. Give In To Your Dark Side.
Give in to your desires. Your secret fantasies. Give in to your dark side. Who cares what “people” say is appropriate. If you desire it, explore it.
I enjoy watching pornography (well-executed pornography, that is).
I get turned on by watching and listening to people pleasuring each other.
I become fully invested in the experience. I pay attention to my mind and body as they respond to the stimulation. I melt into it, and before long I find myself caressing my own body as if it were another craving me, wanting me. My flaws no longer exist, I am perfect, I am all pleasure. It is ok, more than ok to love pleasure, and watching others giving and receiving it.
4. Do it in Front of a Mirror.
I used to avoid the act of masturbation. I would listen to the urge, do it and be done. I avoided what it looked like, what I looked like and how it felt. Now, I make as much of an effort to embrace the experience during my self pleasure as I do when making love with a partner.
I use toys or just my hands, depending on my mood.
I think it is important to build a partnership with my vagina. I know her, I know how she responds, what she looks like—I am connected with her.
I get down on the floor, in front of the mirror, and I look into myself. I watch as my face changes as I become aroused and how my body reacts in climax. It is nourishing to watch myself receive pleasure.
My advice is to make masturbation a sacred practice. Practice getting turned on by, you. Grab your breasts, rake your hands down your stomach. Make love with yourself because until we can make love with ourselves, be comfortable alone, we can’t be comfortable with anyone else.
5. Write It and Read It.
Write your fantasies, write your experiences, keep typing, don’t stop, don’t think about it. Just write and then, read what you write. Read it out loud.
Our spirit lives in our words. She exposes herself within the punctuation. There is no right or wrong. If you like bondage, give into it—it is how your spirit wishes to express herself.
Just as we are all unique, different, so are our desires. We all have something we fight against, that we stuff down because we think it is wrong to want what we want. It is not.
Give in to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure you crave.
Pleasure brings us as close to our spirit as we will ever be.
Look at the children of the world– they are pleasure seekers, pleasure dwellers and they are the happiest, purest beings on the planet. They do what feels good and right for themselves. They don’t care if it is socially acceptable–they listen to their hearts and their needs.
As we age to adulthood, sexual pleasure is and can be the most profound way to connect with ourselves. Pleasuring ourselves first, understanding our needs and wants must happen before we can receive pleasure from or give pleasure to another.
Once we connect and accept our desires, we accept who we are as we are.
By Rebecca Lammersen