I talk to a number of guys about the concept of humiliation. Most of these men are successful in their daily lives. They have great jobs, families, and are over all balanced people. Almost all of them ask at some point ‘I do not know why I am into humiliation or why it turns me on so much’ If they have been in a situation where it was an ongoing humiliation they will often say something along the lines of I did not enjoy it while it was happening. Yet after they have been through this a couple of times they start to crave that. Of course, this is all about the chemical process in the brain. These stressful situations cause certain chemicals to be released by us. It is not the situation we crave but the natural high we get on the other side of it.
I have had a number of men tell me they start to need those feelings again. That the way they felt was better than most orgasms they have had sexual contact including masturbation. This makes sense to me because sex is mainly about the mental process and only a small portion of it is physical. With humiliation along with other submissive acts because we are in charge of the situation we do not have the guilt of what is happening to us. It almost frees someone to be allowed to enjoy something to a higher degree.
Someone like myself who enjoys being in charge of a what is happening has a deeper understanding of this process. If a person is doing this to another it is often done out of spite at least initially. No one likes to be shamed at least not the first time. It is not the shaming they want but the release they get from how the brain reacts to it. For myself, I always keep this in mind with Niteflirt play or other types of adult play. The build up is all about the mental portion at the end. The control of how that build up happens and the degree helps to determine the chemical dump at the end.
This is one of the reasons I try and get to know someone it helps me make their experience more intense. Humiliation is an area of sexuality where us being in different parts of the world works really well. The reason for this is due to how much of it is about tapping into something that has already occurred. Putting a person into that feeling they once had then helped them work back through that in a controlled way is also a healthy way to own a situation that once was extremely painful.
If humiliation is something that you think you might be interested in or if you just want to talk out a situation you do not talk about with others. Give me a call!