Painted Toes



For me training a sissy boy is kind of a ritual and I enjoy all the different parts. One of the first things I do is make my sissy boys paint their toe nails. I really do not care about the color most the time they choose a pink or red. My enjoyment is forcing them to wear that under their everyday clothes and socks. This is generally a very big deal to them at the end of the day. They spend the whole time thinking about that one little part of them that no one can see that is so girly. Even the act of painting them starts to take on a lot of meaning for most guys.  This is one of my sluts pretty toes after I made him paint them and wear them all day to the office.


5 Ways To Pleasure Yourself (Shared Article)

I’ve now written 40 articles for elephant journal.

Every one of my pieces is a window into my life, into the darkness, the lightness—the life I have lived.

I’ve spoken of my disorders, molestation, sex, relationships and divorce. Some may perceive my articles as ‘airing dirty laundry.’ I believe I share my life openly, transparently without shame, in order to help others know they are not alone in their thoughts, feelings or actions. Knowing we are not alone is the catalyst for growth, healing and transformation.

On the eve before my 34th birthday, I’m spending time reflecting on my life and the past year. My goal for the year to come is to continue shedding all the thoughts and conditioned beliefs that continue to hold me back.

I write this piece not only for myself, but for my daughters and all women.

My birthday wish is a wish for all of us; to stop hiding, stop feeling ashamed, and stop being embarrassed for who we are and what we want.

I give us all permission to explore our desires and our fantasies. I give us permission to claim what is our birthright—pleasure.

I do not want my daughters to own an ounce of guilt for expressing their sexuality, no matter how it manifests itself. I hope they freely explore their bodies, own their bodies, live in their bodies, enjoy their bodies and embrace all realms of giving and receiving pleasure.

I don’t want them to suffer like I have. It has taken almost 34 years for me to accept who dwells in me—a lioness who I have tamed and locked away for so long, because she scared me. I felt like a closet slut for years, until I recognized I’m no slut—I am an explosively passionate woman with a wild imagination and voracious desire for happiness and pleasure.

In my 34th year of life, I will release her completely because she deserves to live and breathe in the open, free of judgment—my judgment. She tries to ooze from my mind, my body and my heart every day and I can no longer contain her.

From adolecence to adulthood, I thought it was wrong to love sex as much as I did. I shunned my radiant imaginative desires and resisted pleasure completely. I thought it selfish, almost narcissistic to seek pleasure and attain a blissful state.

I searched in the wrong places—outside myself,  in a sexual encounter with someone I didn’t know very well or in validation from people around me. I didn’t think I deserved to feel good. I was afraid of intimacy with myself, of allowing my needs to be acknowledged and fulfilled.

I hid within my sexual experiences instead of participating in. I withheld pleasure from myself, from my life. I felt guilty for masturbating or fulfilling my fantasies. 

As I mature, I recognize the most important part of life, the gift of life is our ability to feel pleasure, to know pleasure.

God built me with the character I have, the thoughts, the desires, the body and the spirit I am meant to have in this life. I don’t need to cover up or be anyone else. Instead of trying to change, be something else–something more holy or more pure, I am meant to thrive and function as myself.

I give myself and all of us permission to stop avoiding who we are and give in to what gives us pleasure regardless of what society deems acceptable or unacceptable.

This year has gifted me–I didn’t know making love with myself had the power to usher me into a nest of self acceptance. It has transformed my ability to trust and be intimate with another person, to receive pleasure–which I never had before.

I didn’t know that the simple act of giving myself permission to feel good would change my life.

Here is my gift of permission for you:

1. Tease Yourself, Seduce Yourself—Get Naked Under Your Clothes.

I don’t wear underwear, unless (for sanitary reasons) I wear a short skirt which is a rare occurrence. I have a dresser drawer full of Hanky Pankys in a rainbow of colors that sit unharnessed to my pelvis. Why? Because it’s sexy to not wear them. I love being exposed. I am ready for pleasure at any moment. I enjoy teasing myself, seducing myself all day long.

At night, I wear a sheer slip to bed. The tingling sensation of the fabric on my skin gives me goosebumps. I love the way my nipples break through the veil of cloth. I stand in front of the mirror and I appreciate (not judge) the beauty of my body through the cloud of cotton. I separate from myself, admiring the person who stands before me yearning to be discovered, uncovered and explored.

I sleep naked—a lot. I recommend spending time every day naked. It’s a little uncomfortable at first. We are used to being naked between clothing changes, showering or having sex. What about just being naked? Enjoying the freedom of no restraints.

The first thing my daughters do when they walk in at the end of the day is strip down to nothing. They run around, do somersaults, dance. They are more comfortable naked than dressed.

When we are naked, we can’t hide—being vulnerable is vital to becoming comfortable with ourselves. Only when we are comfortable with ourselves can we be comfortable with another.

2. Act Like An Animal, Once in Awhile.

Animals are naked in every way; they don’t have manners, they don’t have clothes. They eat without utensils. They get dirty. They mate when they need to and want to, no matter who is watching.

Try being an animal once in a while.

Eat with your hands, eat foods that explode with juice allow them to coat your body and don’t rub it away. Get messy.

Allow yourself to go primal. If you have a partner, grab them and devour them as you did your food and if you are alone, devour yourself; in the middle of the living room, with the shades open, let the light in and please yourself.

3. Give In To Your Dark Side.

Give in to your desires. Your secret fantasies. Give in to your dark side. Who cares what “people” say is appropriate. If you desire it, explore it.

I enjoy watching pornography (well-executed pornography, that is).

I get turned on by watching and listening to people pleasuring each other.

I become fully invested in the experience. I pay attention to my mind and body as they respond to the stimulation. I melt into it,  and before long I find myself caressing my own body as if it were another craving me, wanting me. My flaws no longer exist, I am perfect, I am all pleasure. It is ok, more than ok to love pleasure, and watching others giving and receiving it.

4. Do it in Front of a Mirror.

I used to avoid the act of masturbation. I would listen to the urge, do it and be done. I avoided what it looked like, what I looked like and how it felt. Now, I make as much of an effort to embrace the experience during my self pleasure as I do when making love with a partner.

I use toys or just my hands, depending on my mood.

I think it is important to build a partnership with my vagina. I know her, I know how she responds, what she looks like—I am connected with her.

I get down on the floor, in front of the mirror, and I look into myself. I watch as my face changes as I become aroused and how my body reacts in climax. It is nourishing to watch myself receive pleasure.

My advice is to make masturbation a sacred practice. Practice getting turned on by, you. Grab your breasts, rake your hands down your stomach. Make love with yourself because until we can make love with ourselves, be comfortable alone, we can’t be comfortable with anyone else.

5. Write It and Read It.

Write your fantasies, write your experiences, keep typing, don’t stop, don’t think about it. Just write and then, read what you write. Read it out loud.

Our spirit lives in our words. She exposes herself within the punctuation. There is no right or wrong. If you like bondage, give into it—it is how your spirit wishes to express herself.

Just as we are all unique, different, so are our desires. We all have something we fight against, that we stuff down because we think it is wrong to want what we want. It is not.

Give in to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure you crave.

Pleasure brings us as close to our spirit as we will ever be.

Look at the children of the world– they are pleasure seekers, pleasure dwellers and they are the happiest, purest beings on the planet. They do what feels good and right for themselves. They don’t care if it is socially acceptable–they listen to their hearts and their needs.

As we age to adulthood, sexual pleasure is and can be the most profound way to connect with ourselves. Pleasuring ourselves first, understanding our needs and wants must happen before we can receive pleasure from or give pleasure to another.

Once we connect and accept our desires, we accept who we are as we are.

By Rebecca Lammersen

Teasing Dress Pictures

After a hot and sweaty night on the town I just couldn’t resist teasing you guys with some up shots. This is a perfect little dress both very low and very high at the same time. Makes for a very fun night. You pantyhose guys are just going to love these purple tiny fishnets as much as I do. Now come help me strip out of this so we can end the night on a very OHHH perfect note…..


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Auto Fellatio

This is the act of giving oneself a blow job. Now before you go getting all excited and hurting your neck there are only about 1% of men who can actually do this. To be able to suck your own cock you have to be very flexible and have a decent size penis. It is very prevalent in history especially with the Egyptians. So this is not a new fetish it has been around for a bit of time. With the Egyptian culture it was more focused as an act performed by the male gods. Yes even I see the pun in that one. Only a god can suck his own cock. What I find the most interesting is how in ancient history fetishes of this nature were just part of the society they were not frowned upon or seen as nasty. In a lot of ways our sexuality has been suppressed.

I have had guys try numerous times over the years with only a few that could actually get the tip of it in their mouth.  Most of the guys that I have talked to or even played with in my own sexual experiences have  laid against a wall and jerked their penises off into their mouths.  I would imagine that this is a fetish far more enjoyed in fantasy than in reality. Think about it for a moment you are all scrunched up with your neck bent a weird angle trying to get pleasure out of your own mouth. While it is fun to talk about and masturbate too blowjobs seem a lot more pleasurable when administered by someone else.

I do remember years ago a rumor about Marilyn Manson having a rib removed just so he could suck his own cock. It makes me wonder how far a guy will actually got to get a blow job.

Starting To Dress Up



Some of my guys I have talked to for years. This is one of my sissy guys that ordered some stuff off line.  It depends on the guy but some of them I enjoy making them go out to shop. Not every sissy can handle this because of the level of embarrasment so I have to adjust to personality. It is a lot of fun to shop online together as I generally do not live anywhere near the guys that I play with. I have had a few transgender and crossdressing girlfriends that were close to me. We would always enjoy taking some time and hitting the mall together. Most of the “girl” that I knew where more conservative in dress and most dressed 24/7 so it was all slacks, skirts, bras and panties. The guys on line that just dress for fun time tend to want the more slutty fuck me know look. There is nothing wrong with that and lots of fun to play with but getting fitted for it at the mall by a teenage girl is generally way over whelming.  If you would enjoy showing off some of your outfits send me a picture or two and tell me a little about it in an email.


Fetish Claustrophilia Tight Places But Not Bound

If someone came up to you and said they were into Claustrophilia you would probably have no idea what they were talking about. However all of us have experienced the sensations these people crave as a sexual release though we may not all remember those sensations. Think of how we swaddle babies to calm them these tight sensations are pleasurable to a number of people.

Claustrophilia is a sexual desire to be in an enclosed tight space. These can be a box, coffin, vinyl sheeting, even rope if done right. This is a fetish and those that have this fetish should be able to explore it in a very safe very controlled enviroment. If it is not handled correctly then it can become dangerous to the point of being deadly.  These tight restrictions can cause some issues such as breathing issues and circulation problems. Such things need to be considered before and during play time.

From what I have discovered through my reading most people enjoy the slowing down of time while being confined. The way they are forced to focus on each breath. The way that they feel as all outside sensations leave their skin and they become completely aware of just their own bodies.  The tighter and more restrictive it becomes the more of a “high” their brain gives them and the harder their sexual release is. Like a number of fetishes this is mental release not a so much a physical one. Most of sexual satisfaction is mental from past readings it is something of the nature of 75% mental 30% physical.

There are a number of companies that make things such as sleep sacks and vinyl sheets that enclose a person to the point of very little to no movement. With this restriction in movement also comes a natural restriction in breathing.  One of these companies is Winter Fetish they have a number of really nice bondage pieces and lots of vinyl and rubber wear.

One of the things I did find interesting is that because of the study of this fetish there has been some medical advances made for other mental problems such as Autism. The close and calming effect of restrictions brings some people a sense of well being if only for a little while.  Another interesting thing I found out while doing research was that a very famous British Spy Gareth Williams was thought to have died from a play session that did not end well.

If you are a person that enjoys or has dabbled in this fantasy I would greatly enjoy hearing about your stories.

Inquest into death of MI6 spy

Ice Adventures

The last few days I have been out of town and I got home late last night. The day didn’t start out that way I left plenty early and should have been home around 9pm or so I thought. I guess I chose the highway that decided to have a ‘perfect storm’ of wrecks yep over four of them that left me sitting in traffic from 4pm to 10pm when I say sitting in traffic I mean I was sitting there moving up maybe a few feet at a time. The only reason I got out of it was because we started looking for alternate routes and finally moved up enough to take an exit. Now this was no fun and not a one of us was happy to be there but guess who I get behind me. YEP! the trucker from HELL! This guy was in a full truck with a tractor and trailer cutting people off flashing his lights and honking. No one was going anywhere we had a steep hill to one side on a split high way with no cut between and no exits. We were all going to be elbow to ass hole for awhile. After we had been there for awhile and he was just getting worse and worse Hubby and I finally have had enough. The car in front of us moves up and we move up now the car in front of us could have moved up 3-4 more feet but it wouldn’t have made any difference and it had been icing for around 3 hours by that point. The roads were getting super slick because no cinder trucks and no one was moving to heat the roads up. This guy starts being a complete ass honking flashing trying to cut over in front of the other lane (who could go NOWHERE), threatening people well you get the picture. Me I have had enough because with that much delay and that many wreckers cops etc you can bet that someone has probably died. I lay into him, hubby lays into him and all he can do is run his mouth. By this time I have to pee and I have no patience for dumb ass. I did something I have never done before I call his trucking company and let them know then I call the highway patrol and let them know.  He finally shuts up and moves enough in front of us that we no longer have to deal with him. Had that been the end of my night no biggie, but nope it just keeps getting better. We finally get to the highway we need to be at and it is a solid sheet of ice it was so bad that I seriously thought we were going to fall into a deep ravine. The only reason we didn’t is because we drove in the grass and not on the road. We get off that highway take another one and I am thinking okay we are doing good an hour from home guess what another high way shut down and an overturned semi. We have to back track 35 miles the way we just came to make our way back to the interstate. So what should have taken 6 hours took well over 12. I so hate ice!

Oh I contacted trucker from hell’s safety manager today (I had talked to dispatch last night) and turns out I was only one of many that they heard from yes he was that bad.

Real Girls Doing Really Dirty Things