Tag Archives: male submissive

Smart Ass Masochist (SAM)

As a dominant woman I have encountered all kinds of different submissive people. I personally enjoy a sweet daunting submissive. I am not really into inflicting pain to people though I am capable of it with no remorse. As a more seductive and sensual Goddess I tend to get annoyed by SAM’s. A SAM is someone that enjoys causing problems to the point that they are punished. This is the male equivalent to a brat. They go out of their way to annoy their Mistress or Master. They intentionally do things that they know will enrage their dominant partner. This is not part of a play session. It is more of  drama look at me and then punish me thing. For dominant people that enjoy just being overly aggressive and punishing incessantly it might be enjoyable. For those of us that enjoy the more sensual side of things it quickly loses the appeal and boredom of the situation sets in. SAM’s are not about pleasing someone they are instead about making someone irritated to the point of angry then acting like they do not understand what the problem is. In a lot of ways they are extremely passive aggressive to the degree of blaming the dominant person. I have seen SAM’s do things like blaming the dominant person for everything and saying such statements as ‘I can never do anything right’  or ‘you always find fault in me’. A person on the outside of the situation can easily identify that the submissive person is breaking rules in order to illicit a response then becoming upset at the response.  This can be a very upsetting relationship for a dominant as they are trying to create stability and SAM’s are always trying to undo that stability. It tends to not be a loving relationship but more of pull of power back and forth with the use of guilt as the main determinating factor. For a dominant person that is just looking for a way to punish someone they might find some enjoyment out of this. For most dominant people it is a dangerous situation to be involved in. With a loving submissive/dominant relationship there is always that understanding of what the submissive is wanting. In a SAM relationship that level of security is missing.  Most dominant people including myself avoid these types of relationships because of the level of frustration and the degree of insecurity of the submissive’s actual position.

Anal And All Its Fun

 

A great podcast that talks about anal sex between men and women, women and men, and men and men.  Anal sex is something that I talk about a lot on the phone. There are a number of guys that want to try anal play with their female significant other but they are afraid to bring it up. Women tend to do a good job at making their significant other uncomfortable with bringing up new things. They make their men feel that all things are gross or nasty. Toys for the ass are a lot of fun.  They do not have to be large for most people the smaller toys are a lot more fun. There are a lot of women that do not understand how much their men want to please the women or how they desire to be submissive to the women in a lot of ways.  Pegging or strapon play is a popular subject it can be slow and seductive or hard and aggressive. As with all new things when starting out take it slow make sure that both people are comfortable with what is happening. Porn is fun to watch but it does not represent reality at all. Most porn is highly edited so what you see is in no way what was shot. For women there are a number of women that want to try anal but they are afraid of being called a plethra of names so they do not communicate these desires to the men in their lives. Sex should never be used as a way to judge a person’s social status. We see this so much that a person is gay if they enjoy anal or a woman is a slut if she does something. This is so far from the truth of what life is like. Anal can add a layer of play that if done right can be super enjoyable for both people involved.  Yes there can be mess but that is actually rare and if you take a little care and clean up before play. Lube can not be stressed enough for anal it makes it easier for both partners and increases the pleasure levels.  As long as you do not go crazy on the girth size you do not have to worry about things being stretched out then not returning to normal.  How about you are you into anal tell me all about it in the comments below?

 

 

Chastity

Chastity is something that I talk about on niteflirt a lot. While most people would think of chastity in the form of a virgin girl with a belt on to protect her virginity this is rarely the case in the modern world. Most of the discussions I have are involving male chastity which is hugely popular. I am a fan of male chastity and if you look into my toy collection you will see a number of these fun devices. The reason I like it and a large number of men like it is because of the role reversal. This is very much about power exchange and having a man being submissive to a woman. The amount of chastity devices available is growing each year they generally come in hard plastic, silicone, and metal. I personally own hard plastic and metal. The metal ones look really scary but most men prefer them over the hard plastic ones. The plastic male chastity devices tend to pinch in ways that are just not fun. A well formed and well fitting metal device is comfortable to wear for extended times from what I have been told.  For a lot of men seeing a chain hanging from a woman’s neck or ankle is a turn on.  It reminds them that they are hers and she will only let them have satisfaction when she desires it. This can be a really good thing for a number of relationships if the woman is attentive.  Teasing a man can spike his interest in the relationship he is in. If a woman puts a little bit of effort into it she can easily wrap him around her finger and he will beg to be let out of that cage. The fun thing about chastity is that you keep someone on the edge for an extended amount of time. They want to be there because they are getting attention, but not getting off. The vast majority of men want a woman that is sweetly in control. They want a woman that makes them feel like they have to work to get her but that she desires them more than anything else. Men want to be desired but not necessarily given everything without working for it. Most women make the mistake of not showing a man she wants him badly. She behaves in a way that conveys indifference and that is never good for any relationship. What about you have you ever thought of chastity and if so in what ways? Tell me in the comments below.