I have been studying domination and submission for over thirty years now and the misunderstanding of the relationship between the two is astonding to me. I have only been doing phone sex, camming and amatuer movies for seven years. There is a huge adulteration of the relationship in the industry. I have been kicked out of Mistress sites because I did not follow their rules of what a Mistress should be. I am in and have always been in a loving dominate relationship that is what I crave whether it be male or female in nature. I do not live my life through a heavy hand but when I set the rules I demand that they be followed. I enjoy laughing and having a good time with the people I am with. I do not have to be in complete control all the time in fact there are a lot of times I do not honestly care. One of the major differences between my philosophy of dominate and submissive and the online version is that I am a lifestyler. I have a life that is far more encompassing than just bedroom play. I want my submissives to have happy lives and while I will push their limits I do not go beyond those limits I respect them. While a short term fantasy is a wonderful thing it should never be confused with real life. I often get men that call me saying they want to be a full time live in slave. I have no issue with that there are many people that live that way. But these men have zero understanding of the realities of that life they want a woman to take away everything their family, their friends, their money, their hole self worth. This might make for a great weekend fantasy or for a novel, however, it will not work in the real world. For those that live the life style understand that at the end of the day it is the submissive that is in control of the relationship. It is their level of desire to submit (not be controlled) which creates the wonderful dynamic of this form of relationship. While there is some fun in forced submission play people can not live a day to day life like that it becomes physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. A submissive has to want to serve and must go out of their way to serve for them to be dominated long term.
Tell me your thoughts on the paradox of power exchange in the comments below.